Of course you should be afraid of the dark...

「Take me by the hand, Take me somewhere new」

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 21:48:03 GMT

So, I've already told Amanda this, but I'm starting to play and practice piano again! It's a passion I've always had, but high school (and laziness) got me busy and turned me off from it for a while. But I'm back! I'm going to start uploading videos of popular and requested songs to Youtube, so give me a request sometime. ^^ (As long as it has a piano part or if there's piano sheet music somewhere out there).

My list so far:

1. "Dearly Beloved" Kingdom Hearts *Currently relearning and practicing*
2. "To Zanarkand" Final Fantasy X
3. "Hikari" Kingdom Hearts
4. "Sleepless Beauty [Sacred Air Remix]" Gravitation {When Shuichi freezes on-stage because he saw Eiri, and Ryuichi starts singing to calm Shu's nerves.}
5. "Super Drive" Gravitation {Opening Theme}
6. "Crucify My Love" X-Japan
7. "Tears" X-Japan
8. "Say Anything" X-Japan
9. "Loss of Me" Final Fantasy IX

{These are in no particular order but Dearly Beloved since I'm doing that NOW.}

Requests
1. "Gravitiy" Sara Bareilles *Sheet music needed*
2. "Hometown Glory" Adele *Sheet music needed*
3. "Main Theme/World Map Theme(before Meteor is summoned)" Final Fantasy VI *Sheet music acquired*

Send a request to me on anything! :3 Make sure that when you send a request, you can direct me towards some sheet music for the song and some type of music file for it. I'm not talented enough yet to pick out notes by ear (although listening to the song helps me tremendously) so sheet music is a must. {Might take me a while to get to your request, but I promise I'll put practice in every night and put your request before my own list. <Except for "Dearly Beloved" at this point. I've already gotten started. xD>}

Repost And Update

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 07:35:07 GMT

1. Kanji/Tidus crossover fic [This.... Will be hard to conceive. xD]

2. Mello/MC Mpreg fic. To make things go over as smoothly as possible, I'll be using the MC's name "Souji Seta" from the manga. Like Jenna said, as official as you can get. xD

3. Random Near fic.

4. Sam/Kanji or Kanji/Sam fic. I could work the Supernatural/Persona 4 crossover PRETTY easily. xD

5. MC/Kou fic. I was wanting to write something like this, even though I had no idea how.... But, meh. xD I'll work it out somehow. I'm actually interested in a Daisuke/MC/Kou pairing/threesome... maybe I'll convert this fic into that.

6. Sam/Mello, with Shion walking in on them. [I kind of have an idea for this...]

7. Castiel/Kou fic. I already have the summary for this [thanks meme] and it promises to be really cute. :3

8. Dean/Jounouchi fluff fic. :3

9. Dean/Yosuke [The meme had the pairing the other way around, but this works much better. And again, a Supernatural/Persona 4 crossover would be pretty easy.]

10. Shion/Someone. xD

11. Some type of Tidus fic. Cause god knows I fail at drawing.

12. Sam/Yosuke/MC. ... This would actually turn out pretty hot.

13. Kou and... someone. Probably Daisuke.... Oh yeah. In the middle of the basketball court. <3

14. Some type of song fic about Jounouchi.

15. Dean/Kanji/Mello- Warnings: Bondage, drunkeness, bloodplay. Oh yeah... I didn't think of this earlier, but knowing Mello... Chocolate play. <3 x3

16. Sam/Kou. Angst and smut, with the pick up line: "I understand your pain, never meeting your parents. My mother died when I was six months old. And I know, I know... It was all my fault."

17. ... This'll be my MC/Yosuke fic. :3 MC goes to Kanji for advice.

18. Tidus/Near. Warnings: Non-con.

19. Castiel and Shion. ... Somehow.

20. Dean and Near are in a happy relationship until Near runs off with Yosuke. Dean, broken-hearted, has a one-night stand with Tidus and a brief, unhappy affair with Mello, then follows the wise advice of MC and finds true love with Castiel.

21. Jounouchi/Shion [I might or might not end up writing this.]

22. Kou- Both a voyeur fic and an exhibitonist fic: "L-like this, Daisuke...? *blush"

23. MC/Near bath sex with rubber duckies floating around. xD

24. Mello masturbation fic. <3

And here's the old meme... Wow, it's the much older one, using all Jrock... xD Oh well. I needed to write these eventually anyway. Well, just like the description says, you can request one or request me to write one. Old requests are still attached, if you would like me to remove you, just tell me so.

EDIT: I'm just going to redo this list. @_@ I'll write the other fics eventually, the ideas just seem a bit old to me right now. You may still request fics to write and for me to write if you wish, though.

1)Turn on your playlist.
2)Put it on shuffle.
3)Now write:
Title:
Pairing:
Genre:
4)The title of the song is the title of the story.
5)You choose the pairing, and genre that comes to mind.
6)Now post this in your journal, and see if anyone is willing to write any of these or if you want to write any of them.
7)Do 15 of these.

1. Title: Sea
Pairing: Yosuke x MC [What can I say... I can't say no to this pairing.]
Genre: Comedy, smut.

2. Title: Forever Love
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Genre: Angst n' deepness.

3. ~~Title: The Hardest Part is the Night~~ Finished! Posted in my journal
Pairing: Yosuke x Kanji
Genre: Angst, pure smut. Trust me.... I have an amazing idea for this.

4. Title: Hang 'Em High
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Genre: Smut

Yes, I'm taking the easy way out with that one. xD

5. Title: Longing ~Setsubou No Yoru
Pairing: Mello x Near
Genre: Angst, Longing, Romance, MAYBE smut... at the end.

6. Title: Answer
Pairing: MC x Yosuke
Genre: Fluff, Romance

7. Title: Eden
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Genre: Angst, Romance. [Basically, Cas chooses to fall... For Dean.]

8. Title: Traumerei
Pairing: Mello x Matt
Genre: Angst, romance.

9. Title: Psycho Dance
Pairing: Jun x Iori
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

10. Title: Mousou Aikouka
Pairing: Lantis x Eagle
Genre: Comedy, fluff, romance.

11. Title: Love me?
Pairing: Kanji ----> MC
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Confession. [We won't know MC's feelings for Kanji until the end, when Kanji confesses. :3]

12. Title: Shot Through the Heart
Pairing: Jounouchi x Honda [Because this pairing is too fucking cute.]
Genre: Fluff, romance.

13. Title: Come Back
Pairing: MC x Yosuke
Genre: Angst, Romance. [You can guess what I'm thinking with this, Jenna.]

14. Title: I Didn't Know I'd Love You So Much
Pairing: Yosuke x MC
Genre: Smut.

15. Title: The Point of No Return
Pairing: Daisuke x Kou
Genre: Drama, Romance

Drabble meme

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 03:54:24 GMT

Taken from the community deancastiel

Challenge:
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn your music player on and turn it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabblet/ficlet related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterward! No matter how whacked out your drabble is. :)
4. Do ten of these, then post them.

1) Pairing: CastielxDean
Title: Jingle All the GAY!

Dean smiled to himself as he saw Castiel, his angel, hanging up some of the modest ornaments they had on the small desktop tree they had bought at the Walmart. He walked over and slipped his arms around Castiel's waist. Castiel smiled softly and turned his head to kiss Dean.
"Do you want to put up the angel on the top of the tree?" Dean felt the irony hilarious. His grin showed this.
"But you're the angel." Castiel turned around and kissed Dean's eyes.
"But you're my angel." Castiel kissed Dean's pouty lips and found himself licking them, tasting their incredible taste.
"Merry Christmas, lover."

2) Pairing: DeanxCastiel (CAUSE IT IS DIFFERENT D: )
Title: Yasashi Uta

Angels created music. And man stole it away. This is why Castiel was not particularly fond of Dean's Black Sabbath and Metallica, as it were. But when Dean sang to him, just for him... Castiel got chills. Dean had the most beautiful, gravely, and powerful voice Castiel had ever heard, and he used to listen to God's choir of angels practice on Saturdays. But when Dean sang to Castiel... Sometimes even while Dean making love to Castiel, he would sing in Castiel's ear. And Castiel loved it. It put him at peace, and made their love making even more beautiful. And Castiel wouldn't trade it for the right seat next to God any day.

3) Pairing: DeanxSam
Title: Bastard

Sam squirmed under the weight of his older brother. A small sigh escaped his lips, and he heard Dean groan in reply. He gripped Dean's muscly forearms tightly, digging his nails into Dean's skin. His brother groaned in a different way this time.
"You bastard. You're going to draw blood." Sam rolled his eyes.
"Oh, like it matters, you pussy. You're a Warrior of the Lord," his voice grew childish trying to imitate Castiel. Dean frowned at his attempt. Castiel's voice was much more majestic. "start acting like it." Dean growled, and pushed into his brother roughly.
"I fucking hate you, you know that?" Sam's eyes flashed black momentarily.
"Yes, I know, Dean."

4) Pairing: KiritoxAiji
Title: Blinded in Chains

What was Aiji supposed to do? He was obviously unhappy in Pierrot, even some fans could see that. But what could he do? His contract was signed in blood. Kirito owned his soul. It was like making a deal with the Devil. If Aiji left... there was no telling what Kirito would do. He once played with a knife and little less than threatened the other members with it once, and that was when Kirito was in a good mood... Aiji felt himself shake, feeling the hot tears slide down and threatening to burn the skin right off his cheeks. Hadn't his mother always told him to be brave? Even if it cost him his life? Better to die with pride than to live in the chains of servitude. Aiji took out his phone and called Kirito.

5) Pairing: RikuxKisaki (Yeah, you read that right.)
Title: Secret Dreams

Riku's eyes fluttered as his dream made him start to sweat. His hips bucked slightly, his erection slipping against his blankets. But in his dreams, it was Kisaki he were bucking against. Kisaki moaned, and looked up at Riku, lust and love perfectly balanced and shining in his eyes.
"Riku, Riku, Riku~" The singer felt himself pumping into the bassist faster, faster faster! Kisaki's moans only got more eratic and feminine. "Rikuuuuu, ahhh, I-I-I!" Riku huffed.
"Y-yeah? Kisaki?"
"I love you!" Riku exploded, filling Kisaki with his seed.

6) Pairing: (And since I'm in the mood looking at my posters...) TamahomexMiaka
Title: Orange Dream (AU in which Hotohori lives, but Tasuki dies. No specific time.)

Miaka cried as Hotohori gave a speech remembering their dearly departed friend Tasuki. Tamahome slipped his arms around Miaka and held her as she cried harder into his chest.
"What are we going to do without Tasuki?" she whimpered into Tamahome's chest, not exactly to anyone, but just to anyone who could hear.Tamahome ran his fingers through Miaka's soft brown hair, trying to comfort her.
"I... Don't know, Miaka." At this time, Hotohori's speech stopped as he listened to Miaka and Tamahome's conversation. His eyes glistened with tears, but he had promised himself he would be the strong one.

"Everyone... What we do is... We live."

7) Pairing: KanonxYuuki
Title: Toumei Nakago

Kanon, propped up on his elbow, smiled as he saw Yuuki fumble in his sleep and drool slightly. Yuuki had always been an animated sleeper, but Kanon noticed it more once they moved in together. He brushed Yuuki's cheek softly, and as if on instict, Yuuki moved into Kanon's touch. This caused Kanon to smile more, and even chuckle a little. This caused Yuuki to stir slightly.
"Mm.... Kanon? What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing, sweetie, go back to sleep." He placed a kiss upon Yuuki's forehead. Yuuki beamed.
"Okay. I love you~" Kanon closed his eyes and gave Yuuki a hug, holding him in his arms.
"And I love you. Always and forever." And he held Yuuki there as his lover fell back asleep. And into the early afternoon, he listened to the soft, even breaths of his golden haired beauty.

8) Pairing: GaryxAsh (YUP.)
Title: Love for Sale

Being hard up for cashwas hard to begin with. But with the economy down the toliet, it made things harder to make money. Ash groaned and kicked his feet. He was so angry with Brock for this idea! Brock, Ash, and Misty had had a brainstorming meeting to discuss their strong points and how they could use them to their advantage to make money. Misty was the first to comment on Ash.

"There's not much to say for Ash. He's pretty much just another worthless mouth to feed."
"Hey!" Ash was this close to punching Misty's fucking lights out.
"Wait. Ash. You do have a talent." Ash and Misty stopped bickering.
"He does?"
"I do?" Brock grinned evilly.
"Yeah. You give amazing head."
Ash wanted to knock down the sign next to him that read "Blowjobs: $2" He knocked it over, and felt satisified.
"Oh, closing shop for the day?" Ash looked up to see Gary's smug little face stare down at him.
"What do you want, Gary?" Gary pointed to the sign.
"What else?" Ash made a mental note to kill Brock later.

9) Pairing: Aijixmaya
Title: Faint

"maya, don't turn your back on me!" Aiji's voice was laced with dangerous anger.
"And what if I never turn back, Aiji?" maya said over his shoulder. "Sure, the sex is amazing, but what do we have besides that? Everyone is alone in the end. There is.. no point in pursuing relationships." Aiji felt the anger sweep through his veins. He ran to maya and gripped his shoulder tightly, nearly painfully, and whipped maya.
"maya, do not fucking talk like that. Hear me out, right now. You're going to listen to me, like it or not. Right now!" maya tried to turn back to walk out of the apartment.
"I will not be ignored by some prissy brat." He grabbed maya's wrist, eliciting a cry out of maya.
"Aiji, you're hurting me!"

10) Pairing: KiyoharuxMiyavi
Title: FANCY PINK

... Holy fuck, I can't write this. D: I really know nothing about Kiyoharu's personality, and Myvs... well, he's one fucking ball of energy. I give up. xD I'm all written out for the day.

Help a stupid idiot out

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 21:24:21 GMT

So, I should've known being so abnormally happy would have its consequences. Without thinking about how much money I had left, I bought a bunch of stuff. (Materials for the skanky nurse were needed, but I didn't NEED that Supernatural magazine. ><;; Thank god I had my Hot Topic gift card, though). And then, after fighting with Mom and getting grounded, I realized, "Holyfuck, I have less than $50 in my debit account now."

And the application fee to Art Institute of California- San Diego is exactly $50. And I kinda need to apply. ><;;

So, much to my displeasure, I decided I need to sell some of my manga to make up for the loss. I am posting the list, and if you would like to buy something, send me a PM, email, or comment, something. xD Also, if you live more than 30 minutes outside the Kansas City area and I'll have to mail the manga to you, we will have to talk and work something out. The point of me selling my manga is to make money, not use it on shipping. I know it's bitchy, but I'm sorry. ><;; You will have to pay for shipping. Further more, unless otherwise stated, the manga is in next-to-new condition. I take good care of my manga, and I hope if you buy something from me, you do too. :]

Note: I reserve the right to not sell you something. If I feel as though you'll treat my manga like shit, I won't sell it to you. :3

1) Cheeky Angel, vol. 1 ;Hiroyuki Nishimori
2) Clover, vol. 1-4(end of series); CLAMP
3) Color of Love, Kiyo Ueda *Softcore Yaoi, short stories*
4) From Eroica with Love, Aoike Yasuko
5)Fruits Basket, vol. 12; Natsuki Takaya
6) Fushigi Yuugi: Genbu Kaiden, vol. 2; Yuu Watase
7)Girl Got Game, vol. 1-10(end of series); Shizuru Seino
8) Gravitation: Voice of Temptation (written novel), Maki Murakami *Yaoi*
9) Gravitation EX, vol. 1; Maki Murakami *Yaoi, no explicit scenes*
10) Il gatto sul G (The Cat Sits on G), vol. 1-2 [I MIGHT have two copies of vol. 2]; Tooko Miyagi *Yaoi, slight sex scenes*
11) Kill Me, Kiss Me; vol. 1-5 (end of series); Lee Young Yuu *Korean Manwa, Cross-dressing in the first volume*
12) Loveless, vol. 2-6; Yun Kouga (First one now sold)
13) Model, vol. 1-3; Lee So-Young *Korean Manwa*
14) Off*beat, vol. 1; Jen Lee Quick
15) Only The Ring Finger Knows, vol. 2: The Left Hand Dreams of Him; Satoru Kannagi, Hotaru Odagiri *Novel*
16) Princess Princess, vol. 1-2; Mikiyo Tsuda *Cross Dressing, no Yaoi =p*
17) Rin!, vol. 1-2; Satoru Kannagi, Yukine Honami *Yaoi, some near-explicit scenes*
18) Shy Intentions, Syouko Takaku *Explicit scenes, you just don't see penis :D*
19) Suki: A Like Story, vol. 3; CLAMP *Couldn't tell you if there are warnings... I haven't read it because I've been waiting to get vol. 1 and 2*
20) Tsubasa: Resevoir Chronicle, vol. 1-8; CLAMP
21) Vanilla, vol. 1; Riyu Yamakami *Yaoi, Near-explicit scenes*
22) Yonen Buzz, vol. 1-2; Christina Plaka *First volume cover is torn. Because I let someone borrow it. -.-;;*

That's the list. If you want a synopsis of a series or of a particular volume, just ask.

I will only cross the items off that I have received money for or physically given to someone. Therefore, that's why you only see two items crossed off up there even though blackthornwolf bought a bunch. :D

From now on...

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:08:53 GMT

If you'd like to be friends, send me a message explaining who you are and maybe a little about yourself. I'm not a bitch, I promise, I just want to protect my privacy. As private as my thoughts can be with friends. xD

Memeemememememme

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:29:36 GMT

BlahxD But here's a random meme, taken from nyu_kun .

Comment on this entry and I'll:
- Pick 7 of your interests for you to talk about.
- 4 icons for you to talk about.
- Ask you to post this on your journal so other people can play.

1. An Cafe- Seriously, who doesn't love An Cafe? *p* Sure, they can be overbearingly happy sometimes, but their songs get stuck in your head. x3 And Yuuki, ftw~ <33333

2. Clear Veil- Homan, they just win. ~p~ I love their completely techno song "drop a veil". I can listen to that whenever. <3 I want to learn more about them, but damn am I lazy. xDDDD

3. Jrock- Pffffft, I don't even need to say anything. I'll let this do my talking:

4. Other Asian Music: Cause come on... Korean hip-hop rocks. x3 Such as: Big Bang. I love them. <33333 I also like Taiwanese pop (Rainie Yang, ftw~)

5. Versailles: HOMAN. ;o; I love them so hardcore.... <33333 I am so excited to be getting my Prince & Princess singles... I say 'singles' cause I ordered the Regular edtion and the Teru special edition. x3 I should be getting a Versailles poster too. <333 *rambles on and on for years*

6. Vidoll: I haven't been on a Vidoll trip in so long. >_<;; Still, I gotta say "Bastard" is the most adorable song ever.

7. Visual Kei: The coolest thing since.... Since NOTHIN! D: Homan. And Yoshiki isn't the true creator... GEORGE W. BUSH IS! xDDDDD *loves on that X-Japan uncyclopedia article*

I can't even remember where I got this. o.o I think from my friend Shelia's plethora of Pirates of the Carribean icons. But I just think it's hilarious and over-all awesome.

A completely awesome yaoi icon. <3 Funny at first, then it gets sad. ]=

Kehehehehehehe. x3 Have I mentioned I absolutely adore Harry x Draco and Draco x Harry? <3333

One of the few macros I've made. I got this from a Dir en grey live scan, and I thought it was just an epic face. <333 I love the faces Kyo makes, even though I'm not a big fan of Dir en grey [They're still great to listen to when I'm angry, though.]

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:51:18 GMT

Okay, so I'm watching "Mork and Mindy", a show from the late '70s [look it up on Youtube if you're bored] and the blind son of Mork and Mindy's grouchy neighbor is singing the song he wrote for his father, and it's so beautiful. ;_; It made me cry.

Anyway, today was quite eventful for being Monday. Since I had forgotten about my audition time last Wednesday, I went to school today with the plan to aplogize to Ms. Knowles profusely and then beg for another chance to audition. She complied. I'm so relieved, but then again, I'm really worried that I buthced my audition. >_<

EDIT: Okay, so apparently I'm a fucking retard. xD The audition dates were actually for today and tomorrow... ._. How in the hell I confused that, I have no idea... So I looked like a complete asshat in front of my teacher. >_< /EDIT END xD

Saw Ian before school started and then before and after seminar (Homeroom). He's such a great hugger. ;_;

Block three, Mixed choir, was fun too. Especially since I had forgotten my music folder at home. xD Anyway, we practiced "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" and guess what... I got two solos! Well, really, there wasn't much of an audition. Mrs. Bogard had assigned solos to people last time to see how it worked out, and this time she asked if anyone else was interested, and no one was. So yay! Process of elimination, ftw. x3 Anyway, my first solo is spoken: "His dimples how merry were they!" And then my sung solo: "That shook when he laughed.[talking about Santa's belly].

Anyway, I guess that's it. [Keep in mind I didn't finish this yesterday so now I'm wrapping it up. >_<]

And WTF, these colleges keep sending me emails to use their Preferred Student applications to apply, and they keep extending the dead line so I'll apply. ._.

J-rock Poll

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 02:55:11 GMT

View Poll: This New Year...

Meme, cause I's bored.

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:22:26 GMT

BASICS

○ Name?
Samantha/ Mandy

○ Height?
5'3"

○ Age?
17
○ Tomboy or Girly girl?
Tomboy, fo sho. Dx

DO YOU...?

○ Like metrosexual boys?
Absolutely. <3

○ Like accessories?
Rings and armbands. And piercings. <3

○ Like high heels?
Not especially. But I looooove my chunky boots.

○ Like matchy matchy, or mix and match?
Mix and match, for the winnnnnnnn.

○ Spend a lot of money on beauty products in general?
Nope. I'm anti-beautyproducts/makeup. : D

○ Shop online for clothes? If so, what stores?
Nope.

○ Steal style ideas from friends?
Style? *looks down at clothes* What style?

FAVOURITE...?
○ Article of clothing in your closet?
Phantasmagoria long-sleeved shirt. :3

○ Makeup line?
*dot dot dot*

○ Skincare line?
Stuff that works on my face?

○ Perfume?
Giorgio: Beverly Hills, just cause I like how it smells initially and then when it mixes with my own smell. :3 xD I only wear it to dances or dates, though.

○ Colors to wear?
Black.

WHAT STUFF...?

○ What is a trend you dislike the most?
Twilight... The first book is okay, but it's way overrated right now. Like my friend Andi said, the only good thing that came out of this fad is that more kids have been reading... That'll stop soon.

○ What is your fashion philosophy?
Fashion? What fashion?

○ What kind of shoes do you like?
Big stompy boots. >3
*keeps the same*

○ What is your biggest fashion problem?
I 'unno.

○ What old trends do you think should come back?
Uhhh....

○ What one piece are you dying to add to your wardrobe?
Any band tee. xD

MISC...?

○ How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
About ten minutes? Yup, I'm quick since I take a shower before I go to bed.

○ Ever been to a fashion show?
Nope.

○ Would you ever go out in public without makeup?
I always do. xD

○ Who do you think has great style?
Uhh... Fashion models?

○ If you had a fashion budget of 1 million dollars, where would you shop, and why?
I'd waste it all on Jrock, of course. x3

○ Is there anything you absolutely CAN'T wear?
Tight stuff.

○ If you had to pick one designer to wear for the rest of your life, who would it be, and why?
h.NAOTO, because ~~he's the only designer I actually know the name of~~ they're cool clothes.
*keeps the same xD*

○ Wanna tag 5 people to do this too?
Not really. xD If you want to do it, go ahead.

Over and Over

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:28:38 GMT

So, here is my KiritoxAiji one-sided fic, Over and Over. I had this completed a while ago, sorry it took so long to finish. ><;;; It's not the greatest thing in the world, but... I hope you still enjoy it! ^^

Hands. Fingers delicately interlocked. Two faces. Faces of men who loved eachother with their entire being.The slightly taller man laughed, pure happiness glowing on his face. This was more emotion than he showed at photo shoots. He didn't give this dazzling smile for the fans, or any of the other band members. This gaze was reserved Kirito. It beloned to him... And only him--

Kirito lunged out of bed, grasping at the fading grin of Aiji. He sat up, and tried to collect his breathing, pushing a hand through his light brown hair. His forehead was clammy. Kirito punched the mattress. Why couldn't he forget that damn idiot?! Aiji hadn't been his for years. Kirito remembered the day when Aiji had stomped on his heart and his pride.

"I'm leaving," he had said, very cool and collected. Kirito remembered the fear bubbling inside his stomach.

"Me or the band?" Kirito prayed neither, but his pride allowed him to wish one over the other. Aiji laughed, and grinned a bit. Kirito had never seen that smile before. It was full of hate and contempt. What on earth had he done to get that gaze?

"Both." Aiji's eyes were dead; no color or light sparkled in them.

"But why--" Kirito's mouth was as dry as straw. "Why would you leave the band?" Aiji's dead stare was then replaced by flames of anger in his eyes.

"Not one word about me leaving you, Kirito?" Kirito had no reply to that, and stared down at the linoleum floor of his kitchen, just so he wouldn't have to see Aiji's hatred for him.

"That, Kirito, that... Is why I'm leaving both you and the band. I was never your number one. It was always fucking 'Pierrot this' and 'Pierrot that'. Well you can stuff Pierrot up your ass for all I care, because I quit. I quit you."

Within a few minutes of Kirito's reverie, he realized the hand he was using to rest his forehead on was was.

"Fuck..." Kirito sighed. Now he was crying over Aiji. But what else was new?

***

Kohta made his way from the elevator to his older brother's apartment front door. He ran his fingers through his hair and adjusted his clothes. He sighed. He was not used to random booty calls, but he really wanted to make Kirito smile. For some reason, Kirito had been quiet lately. If Kirito was remembering Aiji... Kohta shook his head. He couldn't think about that bastard. Kirito was his now, and Aiji was never coming back... So what did he have to worry about?

He took a final deep breath and fished the door key out of his jean pocket. Kirito had given him the spare, saying if he ever needed anything, as a brother or as a lover, to let himself in. Kohta felt the clank of his rings against the metallic key. Before he could chicken out, he yanked the key out and stuck it in the hole. Closing the door behind him, he shouted into the dark interiors of the apartment to let his presence be known.

"Onii!" Kohta could've sworn he'd heard a loud whimper, but it was over within a nano-second.

"You're just imagining things, Kohta," the blond told himself.

"I-I'm back in the bedroom, Kohta." Kirito's voice drifted from the rear bedroom. Kohta was surprised by this. It was noon already. Had Kirito been expecting his booty call? When Kohta hadn't seen him in the front room, he just assumed his big brother was on the toliet.

"Ah, coming, Onii," Kohta responded finally. He made his way back to his brother's room, only to find the lights were shut off.

"Onii, why--" As he reached for the light switch, Kirito made a strangled yelp.

"Don't! Just... Please, I don't want you to see me like this."

"You idiot, if you didn't want me to see you, you shouldn't have told me you were back here," Kohta said, scolding his brother as he went for the switch again. "So what's-- ... Oh god, Shinya...."

Kirito's eyes were puffy and surrounded by dark circles, thanks to the short, stressful amount of sleep he had gotten. His eyes were red from crying, but that wasn't what was shocking. Kohta dived toward Kirito, grabbing his brother's head in his hands.

"Shinya, why? Why?! Why did you shave off your beautiful hair?" Kohta ran his fingers over Kirito's stubby hair. Kirito began crying again, which caused Kohta to start bawling.

"Do you really hate me that much, Onii? Is our relationship that disgusting to you that it would drive you to this level of depression? I'm sorry... I'm so sorry!" This caused Kirito to cry harder, clinging to his younger brother's chest. Kohta was so amazing, as a brother and as a boyfriend. How could Kirito break his heart and tell him that he was crying over Aiji?

"Yes... I only love you as a brother, Kohta..." Kirito felt his heart being ripped in two

"No! No... You liar. You wouldn't be embracing me so tightly... as a lover. Shinya, I love you, please don't do this!" Kirito gave a soft whimper.

"Kohta, I...I don't know what to do! You are so good to me. I do, I do love you! But I just can't... I can't..." Kirito stuttered, starting to hyperventilate.

"You can't forget Aiji, can you?" Kohta said, praying those weren't the correct words as he rubbed Kirito's back. He felt Kirito nod against his shoulder.

"Why, Onii? He broke your heart."

"It was his new PV. His and that... partner of his. I saw it playing on TV the other day, and I thought, 'Wow, Aiji looks so happy, and more handsome than ever... I fell for him all over again. Even though... Goddammit, I'm so stupid!"

"No, you're not stupid, Onii..." Kohta said soothingly, petting Kirito's shaven head. "He was a big part of your life, and he was your first love. It's not easy getting over that." Kirito gulped, his breathing finally slowing down.

"What do I have to do to finally rid him from my heart?"

"Only time will help. I know, I know, it's cliche and stupid, but it's true. It's okay that you still love him."

"It is?"

"Yeah. I might not like it, but what can I do? I can only try to make you love me more and forget him faster. As long as you still want to be with me." Kirito buried his face into Kohta's chest.

"Never leave me."

-END-

Merow?

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:37:49 GMT

So, I'm back home from Branson, if anyone cares.

Anyway, I feel like just disappearing off the face of the planet.

That is all. Sorry for wasting your time. Bai bai~

I want to see "A Jrockers' Christmas Carol"

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 18:16:23 GMT

I swear I'll post something less fail worthy when I get home from Branson. Maybe my Kirito x Aiji fic? Naaaah, but I promised you something less fail worthy. xD;;

Taken from beta_nyuand whoever she took it from
01. Do all your friends have a MySpace or Facebook?: Mmm, not all of them.
02. What do you collect?: Buttons on my purse(pretty sad amount right now, actually) and Japanese food item containers. J-rock CDs too, when I can afford them.
03. Do you always wear jewelry?: My rings.
04. Do you find the ancient Egyptians interesting?: Very much so. :3
05. How many times have you argued with your best friend?: I don't like conflict, so I don't really argue with anyone but my mom. =\ And what's the point of calling someone your best friend? She doesn't consider me her best friend.
06. What year was it when you got your first Xanga?: Uhh, whatever year it was when I was in eighth grade.
07. Are you a good speller?: Yup.
08. Who would you rather look like, Jessica or Ashlee Simpson?: Myself. : D
09. Do you watch stuff like MADE and My Super Sweet Sixteen on MTV?: Oh hell no. ._.
010. Do you find shows like them addictive?: I hate them. (I'm keeping Jenni's answer on this.)
011. Do you do your own food shopping?: No, but my leg just twitched. Does that count? o.o

OKAY ALL THAT FOLLOWS IS NOT MINE. SOME LADY IS BEHIND ME WAITING TO USE THE COMPUTER. -_-;; So I'm saving the rest and coming back to edit it later.
012. Is your mum a good cook?: YES :9
013. If you had to meet a ghost of someone, who would you choose to meet and why?: Ummm.
014. Does your hair get easily tangled?: Only if I sleep on it wet. It's short enough that usually it's fine.
015. When was the last time you went to a beach?: In August.
016. Do you like to swim?: Not really...
017. Would you ever work in a fast food restaurant?: Only if I was desperate. ;;
018. Are you a sensitive person?: Yes, overly so. -___-;
019. What is the nastiest name you've ever called someone?: I just string together long mash-ups of profanities while talking with </a></font></b></a>rika_face on MSN, but I don't think I've called anyone something particularly nasty to their face.
020. Do you like cats?: Only a lot.
021. If you have a cat, does it kill small animals?: Only if they can get ahold of them. They like to kill little snakes. ):
022. Do you like dragons?: Yeup.
023. Are you ever a snob?: I try not to be...
025. What do you usually eat for lunch?: PB&J, a muffin, a carton of milk.
026. Would you like to believe in faeries?: Yeah, but not here.
027. What do you think of these new 'Xanga themes'?: wtf
028. What has been the best album you've bought this year?: Too hard to decide...
030. What kind of books do you like to read?: I'm going to skip this one, otherwise I'll type too much. :|
031. Do you use MSN a lot?: EVERY DAY.
032. Do you get a lot of stomachaches?: Yesssss ;_;
033. Ever drank whiskey?: Can't say I have.
034. Do you hate techno music?: I like a lot of techno music.
035. Have you ever been to England?: I want to go.
036. Is the "EMO" trend driving you crazy?: I don't particularly care.
037. Do you think Jack Black is funny?: Sometimes.
038. Name an A list celebrity you don't think can act: Uh.
039. What was the last thing you broke?: A coffee mug, I think.
040. Who was the last person you emailed?: </a></font></b></a>domestic_hooker
041. Do any of your friends ever smell bad?: I think everyone has their smelly days, but usually I don't notice. o_O
042. Have you ever been drooled on?: Probably...
043. What was the last thing/person you took a photo of?: My cat. xD
043. Do you have a camera phone?: Yup.
044. How old is your ipod?: I don't have an iPod...
045. Do you wear hairbands?: Never.
046. Are you currently job hunting?: It's complicated...
047. How high is your confidence?: 50/50
048. Have you made a MEEZ before?: ???
049. Have you heard of The 69 Eyes?: ???????
050. Has anyone ever said you were kooky?: Errrr, maybe not that exact word, but synonyms yes. </lj-cut>

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 19:19:44 GMT

Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list ten things you LOVE that begin with that letter. afterward, post this in your journal and give out letters of your own.
I got 'U'.

1. URKA! >D *loves on Erica*
2. "Unfinished" X Japan
3. Urggh.. (Great word)
4. Umbrella (even though I prefer to just let the rain fall on me.)
5. Underwear?
6. Underwiderte Liebe (German for Unrequited Love. XD Not that I LIKE it, but hey.. It starts with U!)
7. Unicycle
8. Underdog (Uke: Root for the underdog, fuck yeah!)
9.Upside-down playing videogames.
10. Utilizing my special talents to their full potential.

xD! Lame! But yeah, there it is.

So, yeah, new list I was randomly writing...

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:36:05 GMT

Mhmm. Yup. I've decided while listening to SupraDarky's Best VGM list on Youtube, that I really need to go back and replay a lot of games that I used to play as a litlte kid and absolutely loved. Now, this is the list I have so far. I have no qualms about you guys suggesting games. Hell, I'll even accept new titles that I must play! : D

1) Final Fantasy X: Already have started a new file, currently at Mt. Gagazet(after defeating those Ronso bullies using Kimhari). Played around a bit on my old file, not really wanting to replay through all the Mt. Gagazet and Zanarkand bosses on my new file. xD But yeah, must beat this game to get the ball rolling!

2) Final Fantasy X-2: Need to start new file. Must read each mission in the guide book before starting it in the game. Cause yeah... I've GOT to get 100% completion and get the perfect ending! Ugh.. This means that I've gotta work on beating Shinra in that stupid Sphere math game... -o-

3) Either Final Fantasy VII or IX. This decision depends on whether or not I've bought Final Fantasy IX yet. But yeah... I REALLLLLY need to play it. I miss it so much. ;^; But either way, definitely start a new file, whichever game I play.

4) Final Fantasy VIII: Maybe start new file. I haven't really decided yet.

5) The Legend of Dragoon: Definitely need to start new file. This game is chock full of so many amazing moments, I NEED to reexperience it all.

6) Wild Arms 1: Start new file. This was a great old school game with beautiful music, wonderful game play, and characters you love and cry for straight from the beginning. So much nostalgia to cover. This was one of the first RPGs I fell in love with! Anyway, after I beat this I might decide to play 2 through 4... Maybe. The storylines in those are good too, but the battle system... Well, it's not so much the battle system. It's just that in 1, you were able to buy Heal Berries (Wild Arms's answer to Final Fantasy's Potion) at stores in almost all the towns, and you could even use White Magic outside of battle (their Magic system was MP, like FF.) However, in the second, they changed it. You could no longer buy Heal Berries in towns, only receive them in dungeon treasure chests or as a reward for beating a monster. The Magic system swtiched over to FP, known as Force Power. Think of this like the Limit Break/Overdrive like in Final Fantasy 6-10(dunno if games after it used it). You receieved FP after getting damage, and then you could use FP for spells like Cure. This made it hard for me to enjoy the battle system in Wild Arms 2-4.

7) Legend of Zelda Wind Waker: I'm planning on just picking up where I left off and beating it. Which means, I've got to go back to gathering the Triforce shards. Ugh... I hated this side quest so much! But anyway, I'm not planning on starting the game over, because Wind Waker is one of those special games for me that I rememeber practically every moment of the game, even the dungeons. Ocarina of Time is like this too, but... I dunno. Ocarina of Time is just so much more special to me. I've replayed that one so many times. @_@ Might have to play it again, or even attempt Master Quest, after I beat Wind Waker.

Just one stolen meme for now~

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 23:13:08 GMT

Name 10 of your LJ friends.
Then put your music playlist on Shuffle.
Each random song is dedicated to one of your friends.
Ready? GO!
nyu_kun "Ballet"- Megaromania

rika_face "Fool"- Big Bang

diedies_kamiuta "Gekijou no yoru (R.E.D)"- Kisaki Project

tsukiko_sama "to Boku"- Lolita 23q

neo_arumina "Dear loser"- X Japan

And that's all the friends I have cause I'm lame. : D

Sitting here, talking to friends and sipping hot milk tea... What can be better?

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:09:16 GMT

Talking to friends, sipping hot milk tea and watching my Kindling DVD, that's what. xD I can't wait for that thing, seriously. <3 Anyway, I'm just at my aunt's, babysitting my cousin Josie, whose 2nd birthday party is tomorrow. OH, Erica, you'll love this: Her theme is My Little Pony! If I had known sooner, I would've invited you to come along. ;_;

Anyway... I feel sleepy.. I better go watch iCarly to keep awake. xD

They're All Just Pathetic Scrap...

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 18:55:04 GMT

Well, hi there! XD Not that anyone reads my journal... *cough* >>;; Anyway, you'll have a reason to start reading my journal! I have many Jrock related fan fics lined up for me to work on, and when I'm done, I'm uploading them here. First up is a fic I got inspired for while listening to ''Over and Over'' by an AMERICAN band named Three Days Grace(please don't kill me XD). My fic, simply named after the song, is about Kirito and his constant love for Aiji. Kiwi IS with Kohta in this. Warning! XD

Over and over, I fall for you. [FICCY IDEA YO.]

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 22:11:19 GMT

Hokay, so, here's the Earth --->

....NAH, kidding. xD Anyway, first, lemme talk about my ficcy idea. It just randomly hit me as I was listening to "Over and Over" by Three Days Grace. [It's a really sad song. ;_;] But yeah... Basically it'll be angsty Kirito and he'll be all like "DAMMIT, AIJI, STOP MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU." And basically Aiji will be a bitch. Which will be odd. ._. But I think it could be amazing if I could pull it off right. そうだ！(Sou da: That's right!)

</lj-embed>

ANYWAY. What I came to update for. This week at my school is Homecoming Spirit Week, which I didn't participate in >D, but today seniors (which would be me) got to paint paw prints on the parking lot street thingy. It's cause our mascot is the Bobcat, のだ！(no da) ... Maybe I should stop typing in hiragana. xD Sorry, Rica Face! D:

Anyway, I'm here to upload all the piccies I took of my paw print! >D Be prepared to either laugh or be seriously bored. <3

Before. Props to whoever did this. I can't do circle like objects. xD Least of all with paint.

Full view of mah paw print. Sexy, no? :3 Oh, and we weren't supposed to do anything OUTSIDE the paw, but whatever. I decided I needed my name. And some guy had written B.A. (Bad Ass) nowhere near his paw print, so STFU Mr. Vincent.

Left paw finger thingeh. It says "Nihon" in kanji. Nihon is "Japan", just in case you didn't know. <<;;

Flippin' ya the birddddd! >D Anyway, VK, short for Visual Kei surrounded by a heart. :3

Right finger. Treble Clef. 'Nuff said.

Center paw. This is the kanji for Shion's name. :3 He's mah favorite Jrocker, yo. <3333333333333

Katakana for my name. :3 I was surprised by how well the 'n' came out. And what's with me always making the second 'sa' bigger than the first? o.0 Oh, and 09 desu! : D

The end.

I have to be a fucking lumberjack just to get through.

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:13:45 GMT

xD;;;

Quote, (c) Erica's brother. He was fucking hilarious. Anyway, this weekend was amazing. Seriously. Although Japan Fest was a little disappointing with the amount of anime related items they had. And of course it was mostly Naruto, Bleach, and something else. Maybe Death Note. Anyway, it was great for the atmosphere and the two performances I saw with Rainbow in the morning. xD I watched a symphony perform traditional Japanese songs and others composed by a Japanse. It was beautiful. ;; And then right after that was the taiko drum performance. IT WAS ALL HIGH SCHOOL KIDS AND ALUMNI, WITH ONE OLDER LADY. It was awesome. *0*

But anyway, I cosplayed hide from his PV "rocket dive" and I did an alright ghetto job. I found a jacket from my mom's closet that was really close to hide's LEMONed jacket, but I thought of using a yellow marker on the white stripes too late. I borrowed Jenni's red orange wig when my hair should've been pink. But it was good enough for ghetto government work. BUT OH MAN THOSE BOOTS. They're awesome, but they destroyed my feet walking in those fuckers.

After we were done with Japan Fest, Jenni and I left with Erica and Stephy to go over to Erica's apartment. It was an amazing night. We didn't get to sleep til 7am and we slept til noon. xD We stayed til 6:30 that night. I wish I could've stayed longer (Forever, preferably xD) but I was glad just to spend time with Erica when I hadn't seen her since Naka kon. ;_; Hopefully we'll start planning our next get-together, but we all definitely agreed that we need to at LEAST get together about once a month. Preferably bi-monthly. Anyway, I think that's enough for now. >>;;

AND JOSH IS BEIN A PUSSY. D< GRAWR. He got mad at me for not texting him all weekend because he said he could've stopped by my house yesterday and seen me. Well, sorry if I don't want to insult my host by texting all night. -_-; And I don't think I would have had enough energy to have anyone over at my house after this weekend. Fuck, whatever. *takes a deep breath*

Speed freaks, baby rocket dive

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 14:09:28 GMT

Today's going to be a very good day!~ (Except for the fact this is the second time I'm typing this. DAMN YOU TSUKIKO'S MOUSE! D<) Anyway, can't you tell I'm really looking forward today and I'm obnoxiously hyper? :3 So, Rainbow and I have been listening to Dir en grey this morning. I think I'm going to have a fucking Dir en grey kick this weekend.... DAMN YOU TSUKIKO!!!!! D< ... <3

Anyway, I'm cosplaying as hide in his PV "rocket dive" today! So if you see me today at Japan Fest, come say hi and glomp me! I love glomps while I'm cosplaying. ^^ So so so... I think that's all I typed the first time. xD;;;

Ja ne~!

Cosplay Update, whaaat~? ~<3

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:25:27 GMT

You read that title right. D: For the time being, I won't be working on my Shion (Phanta) outfit, at least not for AFW. Not enough time, you see? However, I will be working on one of Shion's outfits from Mist of Rouge. Yup, same yummy candy, different wrapper. ... xD;;

His outfit looks like this: (Shion's on the left, so Jenni and I assume. xD)

And also, Yuuki from An Cafe. I know, totally easy, but fun~ <3 I'm going to be doing the first outfit we ever saw him in, as seen in the "Kakusei Heroism: Hero Without A Name" PV.

I'm not obsessed, what are you talking about? >D

Also, if anyone could rip screenshots from said PV of Yuuki for me, I would be most grateful. <3 You can never have enough reference pics! =D

-whimper-

Wed, 28 May 2008 03:55:05 GMT

I can't have Indy, Jenni? Really?! -wails- Nuuuuuu.

ANYWAY. I thought I'd post up a journal so I'm not quite so lame-like with absolutely no journal entries. Now I'm lame-like with exactly ONE entry. :3

So! I am SOOO stoked for AFW '08. I mean, duhhh... After finishing the Dramacon series, who WOULDN'T be stoked for an anime convention?! But yeah. I was talking to Mana a few days ago, and I don't know HOW it happened... But I got onto another Shion kick. :3 SOOO~ I know it's gonna be epically hard and nearly impossible, but I want to cosplay Shion's Phantasmagoria outfit. :3

In case you didn't know, that's from this photo shoot: (Maybe if I post a group shot, it'll jog your memory? xD)

Anyway, yup... That's what's up. And my mom is actually really willing to let me go to AFW with Mana and everyone... *x* 'long as she gets the info and all that jazz. So~ Mana, make sure you guys have enough room for me! xD

~See you, Space Cowboy~